There is some advice that pretty much everyone who has ever dated has heard. It goes something along the lines of “If you play hard to get, and make the other person work for it, they will want it even more.”
It almost turns dating into a game, and with phone dating, it tends to backfire more often than not. Regardless of what type of date it is, however, playing hard to get has some pretty significant downsides. There are a few things that can happen that, sadly, are not the result that people intend. Further, these occur at a much higher rate than people believe that they do.
First off, by playing hard to get the person you are seeking could decide that you are either not interested, or that they don’t want to put all of this extra work into wooing you so early in the dating process. Many people prefer drama free, game free, relationships that are relaxed and flow well. People that play hard to get can often disrupt this natural flow.
Secondly, playing hard to get can attract the type of people that you might not want to date. Sending messages that you don’t care if they are around often or not can affect things when you do decide that you want them to be around more often. You may find that you have met a commitment-phobic person. That you not needing them to be around much was one of the reasons that they liked dating you in the first place.
Long story short, if you are interested in someone you should let them know. More often than not, people that meet in real life cross paths with people they are interested in and never say a word. Since phone dating is all about words, it is a lot less likely that people will play hard to get. If they are playing hard to get, it is a lot more noticeable, and many people choose to move on to other potential dates reasonably quickly.